This Week in Bears

• Bear slaughters houses, terrorizes community
  
• Russian ice hockey team eaten, replaced with bears
  
• Swiss bear shot for mauling man
  
• Accidental bear launch disaster over city, polar bears everywhere
  

This Week In Bears

• Polar Bear Launched At White House; Voters Say "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Bear Kills Woman; Neighbors State "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Alaskan Oil Men And Polar Bears Team Up; Local Moose Comments "It's Too Late Now, The Oil Men And Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Rogue Bear Launcher In Aspen Runs Amok; Local Tree Shaman Prophetizes "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Mutant Bear-Dog Rummages Through Garbage; The Mutant Says "IHOP Is The Only Safe Place"

This Week in Bears

• Man climbs into bear cage at zoo
  
• New York officer shoots bear
  
• Bear gets smacked in the "knuts"
  
• "Battle Bears" iPod App reaches 1,000,000 downloads
  
• Bear control methods in Aspen, Colorado
  
• Bear battle at German zoo, one injured, and one dead
  
• Bus Driver gives small child as an offering to an angry bear
  
• Bear attacks bus, kills thirty
  
• NASA prepares for prototype bear launch
  

This Week in Bears

• Judge renews protected status for Yellowstone's Grizzly Bears
• Bear drowns in creek
  
• Polar Bear to remain center of Global Warming controversy
  
• Bear shuts down school
  
• Bears mauls and injures tourists in Japan
  
• Record-breaking bear shot