Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°

NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Adjective

1. Fellowly.

2. Overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors.

In A Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm°!

This Week In Bears

• Polar Bear Launched At White House; Voters Say "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Bear Kills Woman; Neighbors State "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Alaskan Oil Men And Polar Bears Team Up; Local Moose Comments "It's Too Late Now, The Oil Men And Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Rogue Bear Launcher In Aspen Runs Amok; Local Tree Shaman Prophetizes "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Mutant Bear-Dog Rummages Through Garbage; The Mutant Says "IHOP Is The Only Safe Place"

Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°



NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Adjective

1) Of a pale brown color, like raw silk or unbleached linen; beige

In a Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm°, NDm°!

Random Bear Fact of the Week

Fact:
Koalas may seem to be always slow and sluggish, but in reality they are actually very agile. Whenever you see a koala in a nature documentary sitting peacefully in its tree, this is because they have an extremely low metabolic rate. The contents of eucalyptus are extremely high in fiber, and extremely low in nutrition. To conserve energy, the koalas spend most of their time sleeping, while their digestive system works extra hard to digest their food.

Bearpedia

This week's bearpedia entry goes to...

The Anderson's bear!

The Anderson's bear is a subspecies of the larger and more powerful Kodiak bear. The main difference between the two, though, is the massive variation in ytdter size. The Anderson's bear has a small, tiny ytdter, which can only be seen with the Hubble Space Telescope. Because of this, the Anderson's bear makes for poor launching. In fact, you would be better off to launch a rock or a cloud. Because the ytdter is so small, the Anderson's bear simply lights on fire mid-flight (which is an average of three feet), then turns into chinese food. Nothing is more unthreatening than chinese food coming out of a cannon.

Anderson's Bear Fun Fact:

The Anderson's bear is this close to the ground!

History of the Bear Launcher

Noted for their distinct and sophisticated language, art, architecture, and scientific developments, the Maya empire of Mesoamerica is still being researched to this day. New ruins of cities are being found on a regular basis, and the mystery surrounding the Mayans is still growing. Recently, archeologists in Mexico have uncovered previously undiscovered chambers in Uxmal, an ancient Maya ruin. While Uxmal is generally very tourist-oriented, no solid archeological studies have been performed in the area - well, until now, that is.

Inside the Adivino, or "Pyramid of the Magician", which is claimed to have been built by a magical dwarf (Read more here), archeologists have discovered a large chamber under the main hall. Dubbed, "The Chamber of Dwarf Bear Secrets", the chamber is notable because of the intricate manuscripts and wall reliefs all describing the Maya god of ytdters. Most all polytheistic civilizations have some sort of ytdter deity, but it was thought that the Mayans did not. The chamber supposedly held a powerful bear named Nommitzamna. This bear, which was on the smallish-side, could be the magical dwarf in this folk tale, and scientists agree that it is far more likely that Nommitzamna built the pyramid himself, without the help of magical dwarves. In accordance to the Maya calendar, which is freakishly accurate (and states our demise in 2012...), during the fall equinox, Nommitzamna was launched towards the moon with a massive slingshot located atop of the great pyramid Adivino. This ritual kept the Maya calendar even more accurate, for Nommitzamna brought down moon dust with him, which the Maya priests snorted with cocaine and then wrote down dates. According to texts, Nommitzamna kept the harvest strong and mighty throughout the year with ancient sacrificial methods of bloodletting. Nommitzamna would slice his ytdter with the spine of a sting ray, run a string of thorns through the wound, put Kosher salt on the cuts, and then cover himself in the blood, which he then lit on fire. Below is an artist's representation of this event:

Ultimately, Nommitzamna died. The source of his demise is debated within the scientific community, but it can be agreed upon that his death was a result of ytdter poisoning, Epidermodysplasia verruciformis, or pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

However vague this information is, it lead researchers one step closer to discovering just how the Maya empire simply disappeared. Who knows, maybe an outbreak of Acute Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyradiculoneuropathy killed all the Nommitzamnas of the civilization, causing mass riots and group suicides. Now, that is something to be thinking about this week. Just remember, if suddenly you find yourself in a situation where you realize how freakishly accurate the Maya calendar is (December 21st, 2012, per say), just remember that it is all thanks to Nommitzamna the bear, and, of course, Origins of the Bear Launcher: The Blog's weekly History of the Bear Launcher.

The Modern Bear Launcher

Every three months, the best of the bears are pitted against one another in a bloody competition to see who will become a part of the most honored bear squad of all time... the Secret Secret Service. Bears in the Secret Secret Service protect the world's most prominent social leaders, such as Nomnom Nomonom, Nomom Nom, and Nomon Mononom. They always carry pocket launchers, just in case they need to launch themselves 87,000 nautical miles on short notice. In fact, one brave bear, named Nom, used his expertise in mini-launchers and his Secret Secret Service training to stop the Russian Black Bear Revolution. Nom saw several Russian cubs break-dancing in the street and easily foresaw the trouble they would attempt to cause. In a preemptive strike, he was able to cut the bear population of Russia in half with only seventeen mini-launchers. Thank you Nom, without you, there would be too many bears in northern Eurasia.