Every three months, the best of the bears are pitted against one another in a bloody competition to see who will become a part of the most honored bear squad of all time... the Secret Secret Service. Bears in the Secret Secret Service protect the world's most prominent social leaders, such as Nomnom Nomonom, Nomom Nom, and Nomon Mononom. They always carry pocket launchers, just in case they need to launch themselves 87,000 nautical miles on short notice. In fact, one brave bear, named Nom, used his expertise in mini-launchers and his Secret Secret Service training to stop the Russian Black Bear Revolution. Nom saw several Russian cubs break-dancing in the street and easily foresaw the trouble they would attempt to cause. In a preemptive strike, he was able to cut the bear population of Russia in half with only seventeen mini-launchers. Thank you Nom, without you, there would be too many bears in northern Eurasia.
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