This Week In Bears

• Polar Bear Launched At White House; Voters Say "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Bear Kills Woman; Neighbors State "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Alaskan Oil Men And Polar Bears Team Up; Local Moose Comments "It's Too Late Now, The Oil Men And Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Rogue Bear Launcher In Aspen Runs Amok; Local Tree Shaman Prophetizes "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Mutant Bear-Dog Rummages Through Garbage; The Mutant Says "IHOP Is The Only Safe Place"