Click on the images for a larger view.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Bears and Their Ytdters
Check out this week's selection of bears, fresh from the oven! Remember, if you find or capture a notable picture of a bear with a large ytdter, do not hesitate to email us.
Click on the images for a larger view.
Click on the images for a larger view.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
This Week in Bears
- Man climbs into bear cage at zoo
- New York officer shoots bear
- Bear gets smacked in the "knuts"
- "Battle Bears" iPod App reaches 1,000,000 downloads
- Bear control methods in Aspen, Colorado
- Bear battle at German zoo, one injured, and one dead
- Bus Driver gives small child as an offering to an angry bear
- Bear attacks bus, kills thirty
- NASA prepares for prototype bear launch
Monday, September 28, 2009
Bear Language
Today's word is... NDm°
1. Characterized by many curves or turns; winding.
2. Opposition in physiological action; especially : interaction of two or more substances such that the action of any one of them on living cells or tissues is lessened.
3. Not direct, devious.
In A Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm°, NDm°?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Random Bear Fact of the Week
Fact:
If you consume a polar bear's liver, you will die of vitamin A poisoning. As a carnivore which feeds mostly upon fish-eating creatures, the polar bear ingests massive amounts of vitamin A, which is stored in the liver. In the past, people have died from being poisoned by polar bear livers.
If you consume a polar bear's liver, you will die of vitamin A poisoning. As a carnivore which feeds mostly upon fish-eating creatures, the polar bear ingests massive amounts of vitamin A, which is stored in the liver. In the past, people have died from being poisoned by polar bear livers.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Bearpedia
It's only fair that the Kodiak Bear gets the first Bear Blog salutation in the Bearpedia category. After all, it has won greatest bear of all time award every mating season since the beginning of time. The Kodiak Bear is native to the Kodiak Archipelago just south of Alaska. The largest Kodiak Bear ever to be in captivity was named Clyde and lived in the Dakota Zoo in Bismarck, North Carolina. Clyde swore before his death that Kodiak Bears would one day rule supreme again. This statement scared the Statue of Liberty so much that she made a note in her diary to up security on Bear Launching. This action was never carried out...
Anyways, Kodiak Bears are the largest sub-species of Brown Bear. Sixteen of the largest Brown Bears ever launched came from the Kodiak Archipelago.
Kodiak Bear fun fact: The Kodiak Ytdter is so magnificent, that looking directly at it can cause severe brain trauma, death, acne, and chronic urticaria.
Kodiak Bear fun fact: The Kodiak Ytdter is so magnificent, that looking directly at it can cause severe brain trauma, death, acne, and chronic urticaria.
Friday, September 25, 2009
History of the Bear Launcher
Long ago, in the ancient lands of Mesopotamia, the first real form of bear weapons technology was produced by the ingenious Hittite people. While the Sumerians had their superb and unfaltering leader, Nomnom McNommsumonom, their kingdom was not to last.
The Hittites had stolen several bears from the distant lands of Fiji via water slides, and were already training them when the Sumerian city of Bearopolis (sometimes referred to as Uruk) was in its prime. The Hittites took their already existing technology, the chariot, which helped toppled several peasants in various democratic riots, and made it a lethal killing machine, replacing their meager horses with bears. These "Beariots", as they were soon called, ravaged the lands of Sumer, leaving fields upon fields of dead bodies.
There was one downside, however. The Beariots were so powerful that they were near uncontrollable, and many Hittite casualties were inflicted. Because of this, the Hittite counsel of elders devised a plan to replaced all the inferior human chariot driver with bears. The Beariots would then be pulled by large teams of tiger sharks, making the Hittite force unstoppable. To test this new idea, the Hittites sent their three best Beariots to the land south of Mesopotamia, Ytdt (or "Egypt"). They expected for a positive outcome, but what ensued was beyond expectation. The Beariots demolished all of Egypt, turning their lush tropical home into a vast desert (the Sahara), eating all their babies, and pooping on the bases of all the pyramids.
This ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic shows exactly the devastation that these poor people endured. The shape of the bear, the shark, and the chariot (which later evolved into the bobsled) are all apparent, as are the disfigured and mangled forms of the pharaohs below them.
The Hittites continued their rule for many a century, but they were doomed from the beginning. The Beariots were simply a much too powerful force for the time, and constant rebellion, deceit, and theft was common. Also, more importantly, the Hittites were driven to their death through a more recent, powerful weapon - the Bear Launcher.
This concludes today's History of the Bear Launcher.
The Hittites had stolen several bears from the distant lands of Fiji via water slides, and were already training them when the Sumerian city of Bearopolis (sometimes referred to as Uruk) was in its prime. The Hittites took their already existing technology, the chariot, which helped toppled several peasants in various democratic riots, and made it a lethal killing machine, replacing their meager horses with bears. These "Beariots", as they were soon called, ravaged the lands of Sumer, leaving fields upon fields of dead bodies.
There was one downside, however. The Beariots were so powerful that they were near uncontrollable, and many Hittite casualties were inflicted. Because of this, the Hittite counsel of elders devised a plan to replaced all the inferior human chariot driver with bears. The Beariots would then be pulled by large teams of tiger sharks, making the Hittite force unstoppable. To test this new idea, the Hittites sent their three best Beariots to the land south of Mesopotamia, Ytdt (or "Egypt"). They expected for a positive outcome, but what ensued was beyond expectation. The Beariots demolished all of Egypt, turning their lush tropical home into a vast desert (the Sahara), eating all their babies, and pooping on the bases of all the pyramids.
This ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic shows exactly the devastation that these poor people endured. The shape of the bear, the shark, and the chariot (which later evolved into the bobsled) are all apparent, as are the disfigured and mangled forms of the pharaohs below them.
The Hittites continued their rule for many a century, but they were doomed from the beginning. The Beariots were simply a much too powerful force for the time, and constant rebellion, deceit, and theft was common. Also, more importantly, the Hittites were driven to their death through a more recent, powerful weapon - the Bear Launcher.
This concludes today's History of the Bear Launcher.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Modern Bear Launcher
Here in the U.S.A. we have the comfort of being able to sleep soundly at night knowing that there is only a 64% chance that a bear will be launched into our skulls during the night. The only way that we can maintain this low percentage is by using a not too recent, but very important bear launching system. The Space Bear Defensive Outpost (SBDO) is an orbiting bear launch station run entirely by bears. In the SBDO, bears can monitor known "rogue" bear launchers, ex-girlfriends, and tall people. If any of these suspected threats to the United States show a sign of hostility, the eleven-thousand koala squadrons aboard the SBDO can destroy any threat and return back to the station in four nanoseconds. (Below is a picture of one of the Space Koalas launching from a SBDO Sub-Station)
The Koala squadron is the optimum choice for bear launching in space, thanks to their boomerang shaped ytdters. This allows precision launching in groups and quick returns after long flights. These unique attributes make the SBDO and the Koala Space Squadrons the Modern Bear launching story of the week.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Bears and Their Ytdters
Wow, look at these ytdters! Click on the images for the full size renders.
Remember, if you have an image of a bear and its ytdter, don't hesitate to send it to us at bearlauncher@yahoo.com
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