Bear Language

Today's word is.... NDm°




NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Noun


1) A mythical animal typically represented as a horse with a single straight horn projecting from its forehead.
2) A large, agile, highly venomous African snake. • Genus Dendroaspis, family Elapidae: three species.
3) A contemptuous term for a black or dark-skinned person.


In A Sentence: NDm°, NDm° NDm° NDm°.

Bearpedia

The wandering eye of the Bear god Fomtonomnom gazes this week upon the Verde Bear!

The verde bear is the only bear native to the tropics of Zanzibar. A close relative to the polar bear, these bears play off of their surroundings for protection. Named verde after a weird, foreign way of saying "green", the verde bear blends into the green landscape that they live in. The bears' skin takes a greenish tint, and their thin, clear fur reflects the green color of the jungles in which they thrive. Although these bears have little fur, they possess very prominent, and aerodynamic ytdters, allowing for quick starts and stops from launchers and are ideal for island hopping. These bears are quite fast and have reflexes comparable to the North American Black Bear. Verde Bears are one of the fasting growing bear populations and are popping on coastal areas everywhere.

This Week in Bears

• Bear slaughters houses, terrorizes community
  
• Russian ice hockey team eaten, replaced with bears
  
• Swiss bear shot for mauling man
  
• Accidental bear launch disaster over city, polar bears everywhere
  

Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°

NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Noun

1. Contemptuously rude or impertinent behavior or speech.

2. A piece of excrement.

3. A very light rain.

In A Sentence: NDm°, NDm° NDm° NDm°.

Bearpedia

This week's Bearpedia entry goes to...

The Grylls Bear!

The Grylls Bear is native to the small European islands of the United Kingdom, and is rarely seen. A few scattered reports from around the world claim to have the Grylls Bear located in several random environments such as the Amazon, the Pacific Islands, and the Rocky Mountains. The Grylls Bear is an expert survivalist, being able to live without food or water for a period of 72 hours. They specialize in finding food from travel motels and TV studios, where the bears will spend most of their time. The ytdter of the Grylls Bear is not as large as its international counterparts', so it makes up for this size difference by wearing a layer of mud on its body. The Grylls Bears' ytdter is twice the size of that of an Andersons Bear.

Grylls Bear Fun Fact:
The Grylls Bear is one of the only bear species to be spotted on Mount Everest!

Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°

NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Adjective

1. Fellowly.

2. Overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors.

In A Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm°!

This Week In Bears

• Polar Bear Launched At White House; Voters Say "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Bear Kills Woman; Neighbors State "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Alaskan Oil Men And Polar Bears Team Up; Local Moose Comments "It's Too Late Now, The Oil Men And Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Rogue Bear Launcher In Aspen Runs Amok; Local Tree Shaman Prophetizes "It's Too Late Now, The Bears Are Unstoppable"
• Mutant Bear-Dog Rummages Through Garbage; The Mutant Says "IHOP Is The Only Safe Place"

Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°



NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Adjective

1) Of a pale brown color, like raw silk or unbleached linen; beige

In a Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm°, NDm°!

Random Bear Fact of the Week

Fact:
Koalas may seem to be always slow and sluggish, but in reality they are actually very agile. Whenever you see a koala in a nature documentary sitting peacefully in its tree, this is because they have an extremely low metabolic rate. The contents of eucalyptus are extremely high in fiber, and extremely low in nutrition. To conserve energy, the koalas spend most of their time sleeping, while their digestive system works extra hard to digest their food.

Bearpedia

This week's bearpedia entry goes to...

The Anderson's bear!

The Anderson's bear is a subspecies of the larger and more powerful Kodiak bear. The main difference between the two, though, is the massive variation in ytdter size. The Anderson's bear has a small, tiny ytdter, which can only be seen with the Hubble Space Telescope. Because of this, the Anderson's bear makes for poor launching. In fact, you would be better off to launch a rock or a cloud. Because the ytdter is so small, the Anderson's bear simply lights on fire mid-flight (which is an average of three feet), then turns into chinese food. Nothing is more unthreatening than chinese food coming out of a cannon.

Anderson's Bear Fun Fact:

The Anderson's bear is this close to the ground!

History of the Bear Launcher

Noted for their distinct and sophisticated language, art, architecture, and scientific developments, the Maya empire of Mesoamerica is still being researched to this day. New ruins of cities are being found on a regular basis, and the mystery surrounding the Mayans is still growing. Recently, archeologists in Mexico have uncovered previously undiscovered chambers in Uxmal, an ancient Maya ruin. While Uxmal is generally very tourist-oriented, no solid archeological studies have been performed in the area - well, until now, that is.

Inside the Adivino, or "Pyramid of the Magician", which is claimed to have been built by a magical dwarf (Read more here), archeologists have discovered a large chamber under the main hall. Dubbed, "The Chamber of Dwarf Bear Secrets", the chamber is notable because of the intricate manuscripts and wall reliefs all describing the Maya god of ytdters. Most all polytheistic civilizations have some sort of ytdter deity, but it was thought that the Mayans did not. The chamber supposedly held a powerful bear named Nommitzamna. This bear, which was on the smallish-side, could be the magical dwarf in this folk tale, and scientists agree that it is far more likely that Nommitzamna built the pyramid himself, without the help of magical dwarves. In accordance to the Maya calendar, which is freakishly accurate (and states our demise in 2012...), during the fall equinox, Nommitzamna was launched towards the moon with a massive slingshot located atop of the great pyramid Adivino. This ritual kept the Maya calendar even more accurate, for Nommitzamna brought down moon dust with him, which the Maya priests snorted with cocaine and then wrote down dates. According to texts, Nommitzamna kept the harvest strong and mighty throughout the year with ancient sacrificial methods of bloodletting. Nommitzamna would slice his ytdter with the spine of a sting ray, run a string of thorns through the wound, put Kosher salt on the cuts, and then cover himself in the blood, which he then lit on fire. Below is an artist's representation of this event:

Ultimately, Nommitzamna died. The source of his demise is debated within the scientific community, but it can be agreed upon that his death was a result of ytdter poisoning, Epidermodysplasia verruciformis, or pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

However vague this information is, it lead researchers one step closer to discovering just how the Maya empire simply disappeared. Who knows, maybe an outbreak of Acute Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyradiculoneuropathy killed all the Nommitzamnas of the civilization, causing mass riots and group suicides. Now, that is something to be thinking about this week. Just remember, if suddenly you find yourself in a situation where you realize how freakishly accurate the Maya calendar is (December 21st, 2012, per say), just remember that it is all thanks to Nommitzamna the bear, and, of course, Origins of the Bear Launcher: The Blog's weekly History of the Bear Launcher.

The Modern Bear Launcher

Every three months, the best of the bears are pitted against one another in a bloody competition to see who will become a part of the most honored bear squad of all time... the Secret Secret Service. Bears in the Secret Secret Service protect the world's most prominent social leaders, such as Nomnom Nomonom, Nomom Nom, and Nomon Mononom. They always carry pocket launchers, just in case they need to launch themselves 87,000 nautical miles on short notice. In fact, one brave bear, named Nom, used his expertise in mini-launchers and his Secret Secret Service training to stop the Russian Black Bear Revolution. Nom saw several Russian cubs break-dancing in the street and easily foresaw the trouble they would attempt to cause. In a preemptive strike, he was able to cut the bear population of Russia in half with only seventeen mini-launchers. Thank you Nom, without you, there would be too many bears in northern Eurasia.

Bears and Their Ytdters

Check out this week's selection of bears, fresh from the oven! Remember, if you find or capture a notable picture of a bear with a large ytdter, do not hesitate to email us.
Click on the images for a larger view.

This Week in Bears

• Man climbs into bear cage at zoo
  
• New York officer shoots bear
  
• Bear gets smacked in the "knuts"
  
• "Battle Bears" iPod App reaches 1,000,000 downloads
  
• Bear control methods in Aspen, Colorado
  
• Bear battle at German zoo, one injured, and one dead
  
• Bus Driver gives small child as an offering to an angry bear
  
• Bear attacks bus, kills thirty
  
• NASA prepares for prototype bear launch
  

Bear Language

Today's word is... NDm°

NDm° (Nom) Audio Playback
Adjective

1. Characterized by many curves or turns; winding.

2. Opposition in physiological action; especially : interaction of two or more substances such that the action of any one of them on living cells or tissues is lessened.

3. Not direct, devious.

In A Sentence: NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm° NDm°, NDm°?

Random Bear Fact of the Week

Fact:
If you consume a polar bear's liver, you will die of vitamin A poisoning. As a carnivore which feeds mostly upon fish-eating creatures, the polar bear ingests massive amounts of vitamin A, which is stored in the liver. In the past, people have died from being poisoned by polar bear livers.

Bearpedia

This week's Bearpedia moonbeam shines on... the KODIAK BEAR!

It's only fair that the Kodiak Bear gets the first Bear Blog salutation in the Bearpedia category. After all, it has won greatest bear of all time award every mating season since the beginning of time. The Kodiak Bear is native to the Kodiak Archipelago just south of Alaska. The largest Kodiak Bear ever to be in captivity was named Clyde and lived in the Dakota Zoo in Bismarck, North Carolina. Clyde swore before his death that Kodiak Bears would one day rule supreme again. This statement scared the Statue of Liberty so much that she made a note in her diary to up security on Bear Launching. This action was never carried out...

Anyways, Kodiak Bears are the largest sub-species of Brown Bear. Sixteen of the largest Brown Bears ever launched came from the Kodiak Archipelago.

Kodiak Bear fun fact: The Kodiak Ytdter is so magnificent, that looking directly at it can cause severe brain trauma, death, acne, and chronic urticaria.

History of the Bear Launcher

Long ago, in the ancient lands of Mesopotamia, the first real form of bear weapons technology was produced by the ingenious Hittite people. While the Sumerians had their superb and unfaltering leader, Nomnom McNommsumonom, their kingdom was not to last.
The Hittites had stolen several bears from the distant lands of Fiji via water slides, and were already training them when the Sumerian city of Bearopolis (sometimes referred to as Uruk) was in its prime. The Hittites took their already existing technology, the chariot, which helped toppled several peasants in various democratic riots, and made it a lethal killing machine, replacing their meager horses with bears. These "Beariots", as they were soon called, ravaged the lands of Sumer, leaving fields upon fields of dead bodies.

There was one downside, however. The Beariots were so powerful that they were near uncontrollable, and many Hittite casualties were inflicted. Because of this, the Hittite counsel of elders devised a plan to replaced all the inferior human chariot driver with bears. The Beariots would then be pulled by large teams of tiger sharks, making the Hittite force unstoppable. To test this new idea, the Hittites sent their three best Beariots to the land south of Mesopotamia, Ytdt (or "Egypt"). They expected for a positive outcome, but what ensued was beyond expectation. The Beariots demolished all of Egypt, turning their lush tropical home into a vast desert (the Sahara), eating all their babies, and pooping on the bases of all the pyramids.

This ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic shows exactly the devastation that these poor people endured. The shape of the bear, the shark, and the chariot (which later evolved into the bobsled) are all apparent, as are the disfigured and mangled forms of the pharaohs below them.

The Hittites continued their rule for many a century, but they were doomed from the beginning. The Beariots were simply a much too powerful force for the time, and constant rebellion, deceit, and theft was common. Also, more importantly, the Hittites were driven to their death through a more recent, powerful weapon - the Bear Launcher.
This concludes today's History of the Bear Launcher.

The Modern Bear Launcher

     Here in the U.S.A. we have the comfort of being able to sleep soundly at night knowing that there is only a 64% chance that a bear will be launched into our skulls during the night. The only way that we can maintain this low percentage is by using a not too recent, but very important bear launching system. The Space Bear Defensive Outpost (SBDO) is an orbiting bear launch station run entirely by bears. In the SBDO, bears can monitor known "rogue" bear launchers, ex-girlfriends, and tall people. If any of these suspected threats to the United States show a sign of hostility, the eleven-thousand koala squadrons aboard the SBDO can destroy any threat and return back to the station in four nanoseconds. (Below is a picture of one of the Space Koalas launching from a SBDO Sub-Station)

     The Koala squadron is the optimum choice for bear launching in space, thanks to their boomerang shaped ytdters. This allows precision launching in groups and quick returns after long flights. These unique attributes make the SBDO and the Koala Space Squadrons the Modern Bear launching story of the week.

Bears and Their Ytdters

Wow, look at these ytdters! Click on the images for the full size renders.

 Remember, if you have an image of a bear and its ytdter, don't hesitate to send it to us at bearlauncher@yahoo.com

This Week in Bears

• Judge renews protected status for Yellowstone's Grizzly Bears
• Bear drowns in creek
  
• Polar Bear to remain center of Global Warming controversy
  
• Bear shuts down school
  
• Bears mauls and injures tourists in Japan
  
• Record-breaking bear shot